Falling For a Lie

I remember the moment as vividly as if it happened today. It changed my way of thinking and set my feet in a direction where I eventually found peace.

Before I could read I would sit propped up with pillows looking at Bible Story books. My mother faithfully taught by example the importance of spending the first moments of the day in personal Bible study. My father was rarely home in the morning but somehow I knew this was his habit too. By the time I left home it had become a solid habit of mine as well.

I was twenty-two, by then I was married. I worked hard at being a good wife, employee and a christian. I knew how to act, what to wear, what to eat, and what to say. I was acting the part perfectly. I was a “good girl”.

There comes a time in every young persons life when they begin to realize they are their own person. Everything from picking your own brand of soap right down to what you believe is being both questioned and analyzed. It’s a scary time for both the parents and the children they raised. I was no different.

I don’t recall ever being taught the lie, I’m certain the father of lies has a good way of passing it on on his own. Wherever I had picked it up I had a very wrong picture of God! From a very young age I remember hiding in the family “camper” trying to make myself cry while I repeated the words “I’m sorry” over and over again. I wanted to make sure God knew I was sincere so He would forgive me.

This was the first of a whole string of behaviors all rooting from the lie I had come to believe. I pictured God as a stern faced old man sitting above the earth peering down searching for someone He could catch doing something wrong. Jesus stood between us. The meanness of God had actually killed him! Jesus now was pleading with God to give me another chance. I find these words hard to even write… Sadly I wasn’t the first to have fallen for that lie.

One spring morning, during my devotional time, the words from John 16:27 leaped off the page and melted my heart. “for the Father Himself loves you …” It was like a huge weight fell off my shoulders, I wanted to dance and sing!

I was in danger of being late for work. I took my Bible and packed it with my lunch. For the next several days I scoured my Bible during any spare moment. I believe the prayers of my parents were being heard. God personally touched my heart and guided me to verses that would forever wipe out the lie I had come to believe. The harsh mean God was replaced with a soft gentle Father. It was His LOVE for me that He gave His only son to die. That is Love far deeper than even I as a parent can understand. The idea that He was searching the earth to see if someone messed up was replaced by these precious words. “The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him…. 2 Chronicles 16:9 NLT

This wasn’t a magical “fix all” moment but a precious beginning to an ever deeper relationship with God.

Years have passed, I now have daughters of my own breaking loose and facing choices of their own. Like my parents and their parents I pray for our daughters asking God to both guide and protect them during this most critical time in their lives. I know they are safe in His hands, “for the Father Himself loves them dearly”!

If you are a parent praying for your children, regardless of their age, I know you will find my prayer journals “You Heard Me Crying” of both a comfort and valuable resource.

View the Prayer Journals >>>HERE<<<

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5 thoughts on “Falling For a Lie”

  1. A thank for humbly sharing your story. It is encouraging as are your journals! They are both beautiful and incredibly encouraging!

  2. How wonderful to read, that someone else had this same idea of a God sitting upon His throne, sternly pointing down and judging me to death in eternal fire! I too found the Loving Jesus…l place myself in His lap, my little girl me, and find my councelor, my gentle Saviour. What a joy, to go to Him whenever it’s needed….almost EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY. SUCH JOY!!!???????

  3. Thank you for your inspirational account of your childhood memories. I too remember being taught in church about a God that judged us harshly and condemned us to hell with very little about His love for us. However, I still loved going and really needed the church because my sister and I really needed to get out of the house. We didn’t have the kind of parents that you did. But just as you did I found out one day at Bible Study Fellowship that God is a loving father. When He judges, He judges with love! And He is big, so big! ✝️

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